Without Me

From the 9th floor they look like toys
Wind up things that feel no joy
And I’m crying again
Because the walls are loud
I’ve seen pictures from when they were young
And I wonder if they know where they went wrong
Well, I can’t help it
I think it was me

And I know they’d be happier
Without me

I’m face down in bed trying to resist
I wear my father’s shirt to hide my wrists
I don’t want to die
But I don’t want to live
Because I can’t live like this anymore
It’s small and mean and I want more
And I’m gonna run
Someday soon

Because I know they’d be happier
Without me
Wanting
Without me
Needing
Without me
Always there in the way

And I think about all the toys outside
How they’re small enough to almost hide
And I wish I could be
As small as I feel
The family portrait jumped on the wall
And a heavy silence hangs in the hall
And I feel sick
All over again

And I know they’d be happier
Without me
Wanting
Without me
Needing
Without me
Always there in the way
 

© 2018 Cuvée du Roy Music (BMI)